Guess Who? 001
They're a living breathing walking trigger that prickles open the darkest drawers of subconscious memories, sometimes just at the tilt of their head.
Guess Who? 001
if it's you, don't be blue; this is just a little note to say, despite your efforts, we can still very much perceive you.{ a monologue }
content warning: child neglect, parental regret and lack of accountability
tone: satire, sarcasm, patronising
I hear you. Like, why wouldn't you?
This person who looks almost exactly like you, took all the best bits of you, your specific cultivated cool that almost got you killed in your neck of the woods. Or worse, they took the worst, and reflect it back to you like a mirror of hot steaming shit. Each flinch each quirk, each habit, each fake smile, each vaguely masked death stare, each silent walk dodging the elder's eye-line.. It’s inexplicable. It's incomprehensible. It's.. abominable.
They're a living breathing walking trigger that prickles open the darkest drawers of subconscious memories, sometimes just at the tilt of their head.
Yet despite that, they choose to grow and spread themselves across your being - this new shiny version of you, who gets - even worse, expects - all the things you didn't get in the world, and whats worse, is that, they feel entitled to it. And why wouldn't they? They live in a new time. In a new world where they're the priority, where things are new, and different. Not only that, in their new world that’s now theirs for the taking, its progressively frowned upon to treat them the way you were treated. How is that fair? Why do they get all the new things? How dare they expect new things? Be entitled to these new things?
How are you supposed to relate to those feelings anyway? Your newness felt old, and rusty. Molten, even. Covered in cobwebs and sold to you as new and shiny and bright. So how can they possibly expect more? After all you went through, and then went through, to sustain them from their beginning. No I hear you.
What about you? You deserve to be a priority, you actually endeavour for your new shiny things. Why don't you get any? You didn't ask for this. I mean you did. Well. Less ask, and more that you.. absolutely went for it, totally and COMPLETELY. But thats what you do right? I mean, thats what everyone does, more importantly what everyone has always done. It’s what has always been done, what everyone has always been doing. Never mind the nitty gritty details of doing this actual thing everybody does, like, sure it alters the course of everyone's lives in every way conceivable but you know, no need to be excessive. Yeah, of course you're right (!)
And can you imagine? With each day that passes, they begin to believe that they are one of one, a constellation of stars completely unique to the rest of the universe. No I hear you. I hear you. I mean, like really just by f*cking being there. It’s just beyond the realm of reasonable doubt. You're right to snuff that out as soon as possible. Because really, such notions.. they.. like.. give a sense of self and security thats just.. like.. you know? No I know.
It's not fair, and it never has been, and for however long you choose to play the never ending game, you have to be aware that this person is walking around with half of you. Half of everything that you made from your old, rusty molten things gets an opportunity to be.. better? I mean.. BETTER. Yeah, no I hear you, no one innately deserves better I guess. I mean yeah, it does sound harsh but hey "deserve" is a tricky word, especially in this context.
No, I hear you, I promise. They're half of you, so half of the shit you got is their's for free, and truth be told, the other half of them also got similar shit shit you did so.. really. If you think about it.. It's almost like they're entitled to double the shit. Cos 1+1 is 2, right? Or like, buy one get one free..? I don't know.
..No need to look like that! This is just between us, it's about time YOU get your side of the story told, space where YOU can feel heard for once, where someone gives YOU some power to finally speak to YOUR experience. And let’s be real, its about time you get some attention for once. After all this time, you finally get your chance to voice your view from the void (**in a whisper**: from the cage you bolstered the locks on and keep the keys to). It's about time too!
Huh? You're worried that this might come out? Um.. well. I think they can already hear you.