My Workplace Bully

CW// Workplace Harassment, Bullying, Transphobia and Racism

My workplace bully means to kill me.

He tells me the work I do is never enough.

Chastises me for being different.

“Not aggressive enough”

“Sure you do the work but…you’re not going above and beyond” 

“What made you feel confident to present this work”

Never enough for this white world 

Never enough for this thin world 

Never enough for this cis-hetero patriarchal world

Never enough for this ableist world 

In his eyes, he looks at me and sees everything the world tells him you’re not supposed to be.

Under the surface his animosity for me grows.

“Why the fuck does he think he doesn’t have to follow the rules like I do?”

“Why the hell won’t he work hard like ME”

You see, my bully is one of the few people at work who sees my defiance for this world.

It fascinates him.
It terrifies him. 
And as we know with white men…what they do not understand…they must destroy.

Before our meetings, my bully coordinates his efforts to see how best to break this spirit of mine.

He recites a quote from his favourite Winston Churchill book.

Reads over the notes from the podcast he listened to earlier in the morning about “becoming the leader you were meant to be”

He closes his eyes.
Sits in his sea of rage. 
Remembers the ways I’ve shown disdain for this world. 
A world he sees as perfect. 
A world he cherishes.
A world with order.
His world, that I’ve besmirched.
His world, that I’ve dared to defile.
His world, I’ve thrown into chaos.
Chaos, that he will soon bring back into alignment.

Uniformity is the company and he is it’s sword.